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All right open phones again -- 8255225.
Terra is in Greenville, South Carolina.
Hey -- how -- you this evening.
I combat that I of their power you just the same -- cannot help.
My question is about.
Separate checking account -- -- a joint checking account my husband I've been married three years.
And we had a separate checking account the whole time and now that we have a baby we were thinking about joining me and I came out instead of having you pay these bills not paid pay their bills.
But good worried about her marital problems big -- it evolved from.
It can't quite get I had control over the money or repeat that like he couldn't -- them because we didn't have the money and I can Mikhail.
What's your view on that.
I think it is mandatory for coupled I have one checking account and be on the same page.
Now let's back up and deal with your issues though because you brought some valid points to the table there.
-- because you will it will -- some fights and the reason is that separating your accounts is a form of denial.
That -- -- he's overspending over there and spend -- too much to the detriment of the family on X or Y.
But you don't say -- -- that's his money.
Yeah exact now when we bring it to the table were no longer in denial because he's been affecting the family all along.
But now you've got to deal with the fact that he's affecting the family or you're affecting the -- Yes I know that you know so you know all of a sudden a 25 dollar pedicure does matter.
Brag you know that's I guess that's what -- -- at.
-- now we get paid you have your bailed I have -- -- -- -- what glad this kind of you know our daily by.
We're not saving anything at the same time you're not -- with.
Right exactly yeah I don't want to say that it at the board.
Now you're not you're not problem you're not gonna get a divorce let me tell you how to do -- so you don't -- -- Because it you're gone -- but but all of these things are happening all we're doing by putting it together we're admitting that there are happening.
And now we've got to actually talk to each other so it will strengthen your marriage.
Because it's going to force.
Communication and force.
Now neither one of you were in charge you both have a vote that -- number one is OK and so if he wants to go.
You know you wanna go get a pedicure and he doesn't think it's a good idea we gotta talk through it but you still have your vote.
He can't just slam -- fist down the table saying no under no circumstances are we doing that.
You could -- -- yes under all circumstances are we doing this so now we've -- -- we've got to talk the first.
We'll work it out.
And sometimes it involves a little bit compromise sometimes it involves a little bit of -- organization while we're doing this we're not gonna get pedicure so that later we can get all we want.
Or we're not gonna buy 82 dollar -- polls.
Like how we're doing this a bit later we can -- all we want we're live like no one else -- later we can -- like no one else because this baby is more important.
Then our little pet things and our having a future is more important than our little -- things.
I think -- you.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Don't think that you're not his -- Yeah I want that's what the problem -- outlook Iraq.
It would be because you start -- his mother.
You don't win -- present you as a -- you would feel like he was and it.
And -- -- that little boy.
Exactly but at the same time we'll -- that -- -- nearly debit cards that say I'm glad they eat.
There were again let look like I'm not really think Alan.
Let me finish and take a couple places one thing is the key thing is you both have a vote.
Now you're obviously the administrative -- so you'll be the one that goes and implement some of the bill paying.
-- -- But we need to sit down and -- a written budget every month before the month -- of where every dollar is going to go and we both have a vote and we both agree.
And they always pinky swear inspect -- -- that's the contract that you can't spend money it's not all that paper.
Without coming back together and change and something together.
You can change it but you -- both have a vote on the changes you can't come a moment though hey that's been on about forgot to tell and -- subject to bounce and on the electric bill all right.
So we gotta be on the same page we got to do a written budget every month before the month begins.
And be an agreement and then you go right the big checks now here's how they allowance thing quote works okay.
He has a vote.
So if he decides his own allowance with you on X or Y.
Like let's say eating out during the day at where work.
Okay we're gonna have an envelope.
That says work food.
And you're gonna decide together how much money you're willing to spend on is work through his work through our work for you could have two envelopes -- -- Put cash in there on the amount we agree on.
Then he can spend up to that amount.
But we both agreed on -- it wasn't you doling it out to him like his mommy.
We're both in agreement you've got to have body and by him.
And he's got have agreed to stick to the game plan that two of us developed together and the only reason he's gonna stick to it and have -- -- as if his vote counts.
So we have to get up but it go and not -- -- -- that fresh and battle -- feel -- got a race.
Ankles when -- -- starts working article when you add it all up you're gonna go where's all this money don't want.
-- yeah exactly gonna have that moment.
Or an economic but yet not much what you're not a lot here and get our neck of the boys that that's -- pretty accurate credit that's blue.
You're being in good shape in nearly ready to go so that that's the way we ought to go -- -- -- -- and a copy of the book the total money make over to walk you through exactly.
How to do that.
Great question okay we'll be right back what --
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