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It is Karl in Nashville -- Carl welcome to the Dave Ramsey show how -- you tonight.
Pre debate that issue -- got -- -- sure what's up.
A situation or.
That they don't one day and -- that the key for a few months and an aunt uncle my daughter and it looked tired and live from paycheck to paycheck and she -- -- We -- -- How to start a budget.
And then while we have right gamble and go to some reason that you need by -- -- or spend the money.
And and I said -- they're being an actor allegedly agreed it and she's yeah she's okay -- do it and well you know it happened -- -- And my question I mean I don't know worst sort and a lot target is and everything -- it -- -- -- Well there's one of two things happening here one is that the budget that the two of you -- building.
Is too restrictive it's and it's unrealistic.
How much did you but what did she spend money on that was not in -- budget.
We like you go to Wal-Mart -- -- -- 118 dollars and only one -- come back and whatnot and I'm being allowed.
What -- she spent all realistically -- you buy some food diet type items because some for the people who.
Part of the grocery shopping at Wal-Mart.
Her face saying it -- for the he would and one why do about that -- -- think that we really need to start.
Doing it always is something that -- I'm -- large storm behind.
I got I got all of that not what I'm asking is what is she overspending on she spent money at Wal-Mart on the kids.
Yet on what close school supplies now -- ways.
I mean just yet if it -- up on junk food or something like that.
Okay that's food.
OK so one of one of the possibilities here is that your budget was unrealistic.
And you -- your food budget too low and the second possibility is is that that you know.
Basically you have not really created a firm contract.
Okay now the way we do this this time as we say all right maybe listen -- here we'll go look at this budget together.
We're gonna put in Paramount for food and -- anger and an idea here's a good idea.
Should make a Wal-Mart category.
In your budget.
A separate category for Wal-Mart.
Since it's a problem as an example.
Just for a while over time it'll work out but for the first few months let's try to make the budget represent what life really looks like or closely anyway.
And say all right you're gonna what you need to spend at Wal-Mart in a month to have a reasonable budget.
And let her give you the figure.
And then you put it down and if -- you -- she's been honored that the dollars that pay period -- was like can you do a hundred you know she says a hundred dollars for the whole month all right.
Not -- put on a dollar -- -- Wal-Mart and you spend one dime more than that Wal-Mart.
You'll never have a fight like you have never seen because that's Hawaii game.
And so you're not getting good closure in these conversations you feel like you are.
But you've got a different level of commitment to this process because your mind works mathematically we're hers is just like she thinks you're just gonna have a conversation.
And then she kind of goes and all sort of stick to it that's okay.
But you've got to like take hurt her hurdle facing your two little hands and look -- deeply into her eyes and say if you spend one thing or if I spend one thing.
Other than is exactly what is written here with -- us coming together and talking about changing at first that is -- lighting.
And I'm going to have a the so you have a vote and I have a vote.
Make freak insurer that this is got down here.
Something you could actually do because if you do something other than this if you don't if they'll be a serious marital issues.
Because that's what that's how you feel about it you feel like she's broken trust she doesn't feel that like as -- not really driven a stake in this thing.
And you know deeply.
To this as a contract sign here at the bottom this is what we're doing.
And you really need it verbally create this -- with -- where she gets and how you feel about this.
-- you're you're you're you're a good guy near -- like I need to do this we need to do this and she's kind of going along with you.
But she hadn't had complete lock yet does that make sense yet.
-- -- but but also having said all of that.
You have to let her vote count she has to have say so -- this money is going because -- you can ask her to commit to something that she doesn't think can happen.
Mine and so if you say all right we're gonna come into this thing up 45 dollars for food for the month.
Well she's -- who know you -- 645.
-- and so it has to be something that she believes in as well.
But you've got to make the sale here you gotta lock it in.
-- get a firm commitment to where you're really looking deeply into each other advisors no distractions and you go boom.
Is a contract.
And then put in there and realistic numbers that she can afford to stick to -- make good sense for good question man we appreciate you calling him for being.
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