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Why didn't start off tonight with Ann Arbor, Michigan.
Hi -- -- -- you tonight.
-- gave him good night how Arnold.
-- -- -- -- On a mission when I was 846.
To get out of debt I -- my turn fifty.
I'm now 51.
And I get it.
-- -- -- -- unbeknownst to me.
While I was working three jobs.
And paying off my dad my -- -- was -- -- charge card.
The one that I wouldn't even aware that we -- So you -- you're not working together obviously.
I thought we were working together because I would say -- -- get to 101000 dollars here this month.
And -- you like general concept but you were not doing a budget together.
We were not in agreement about every detail on the money.
It was a vague concept he knew you were getting out of that he was -- -- -- up.
Right now cut.
So now here we says -- Probably 37120.
Dollars in unsecured.
Yet her credit card.
And a mortgage.
Including a second mortgage at 132000.
Looting hours -- work.
And I hate them.
I don't know -- -- don't know I don't know how to do this anymore I'm tired.
You're also lingering thought.
I'm very angry Dave and -- a big deal with finger every single day because of us.
I can imagine.
I mean you work your butt off fingers to a -- and all you've got -- bony fingers you know.
Yes and you ridicule and it does he grasp the gravity of this in your relationship.
Actually in a room he left me for eighteen months or guilty recent.
-- -- -- He's guilty about this yes because of this he left for eighteen months.
Guess -- the -- down.
End them you know you can't somebody -- feel amount of things.
And I do -- -- bailout and a girl Emma to work must deal with the kind of person.
But now -- just increase tired.
And I wonder who wanted to do I wanna get out of debt because in that Mary's is also our -- Understand so he's back.
Okay are you -- marriage counseling.
I am and then we're very healthy thing.
And then my own and -- Com.
Thank god hasn't given yeah.
The reason it'll certainly -- now.
And all of them suggesting you leave.
You know I'm suggesting that the two of you need some help unpacking all these suitcases you backed up full of crap -- -- -- -- -- them.
Deception your anger and fatigue.
Dude if you'll get some help work and through that you're probably gonna hit the wall again.
-- can -- -- in your voice.
You just UN got a lot of gas left in your tank around this -- -- Know your number -- -- now.
You -- somebody get their arms around the -- -- -- and he's got to start doing the right kind of stuff immediately.
And and you've got some stuff to do to to -- who put this behind and -- -- but it's very tough to put this behind you.
For anybody when we don't have a meeting of the minds that hey this was absolutely the dumbest thing on the planet.
That deception is totally unbelievable and can never happen again even on for up any.
And see we're gonna have to have a written game plan that we work together to where none of that can ever occur again.
Because with the level of anger I've got it'll be easier just kill you and abortion.
Great and it's cheaper typical yeah I'm kidding I'm kidding right now I'm getting to let you know I mean.
-- great to have you guys need to sit down unpack this for a -- that from my perspective with what I -- my corner of your world is.
The way you can rebuild the trust.
And get your energy back which comes from hope.
For the future reverses an -- that they and that there's a light at the end of the tunnel is not an oncoming train.
The way those things all come together does start way -- on the financial part of the equation.
Starts with the dreaded B word the budget where the two of you sit down and agree on your goals.
And I agree on how were going to use the money that we both bring in here every month to accomplish those goals.
Every single dollar has -- name.
We both look at it we both agree to it that we don't change any thing -- was both of -- look at it and both of us agree to it.
-- got a really healthy high quality marriage now one of the reasons I do is that after going broke -- we about killed each other.
We want this as -- -- things we did the learn to work together and trust each other.
You see my wife kind of went through a little bit the same thing it wasn't deception but should they are still comes down to she thought she married sir Galahad turns out it was -- And so you know.
Twenty years ago we hit the wall with the finances lose everything this woman is going I -- married do an idiot.
And how does she not think that forty years later well I have not done idiotic things since then and -- and -- -- And we work together we make our decisions together so there is -- exclusive Dave decision there's -- -- share -- decision.
And there's no exclusive -- decisions when it comes to large amounts of money anyway and comes to our written budget so we've rebuilt respect.
And our relationship in the process so another -- I did it and I think you can do it to over 37000 bucks.
I don't blame you for being angry don't blame you for being tired I will blame you for staying there.
So get in some good counseling that both of you were getting some coaching on how -- talk to each other through this that's out of my realm.
And then -- start doing that written game plan together -- you copy the total money make over because I want your marriage.
To have a total money may go hang on tomorrow's gonna pick up and -- that.
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