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Is that -- Stephanie is next face Stephanie welcomed the Dave Ramsey show.
Friday -- thanks for taking my call sure what's up.
My question is what is it the right thing to do about money when your marriage is failing.
Content do we stop everything and -- savings that we put money into home improvements.
Can we even be thinking about.
Money at a time like.
But I just -- -- how -- infection.
-- -- -- -- -- Well.
-- A firm believer in fighting and -- and clawing and doing everything you can to save a marriage.
The switch is flipped.
And the decision is made that there is -- going to be a divorce.
At that moment a good for an amount of -- divorce recovers talks about this very clearly.
At that moment the marriage is now a business transaction.
People -- treated that way there's all the emotions involved in the trailers all the grief there's all of things -- or whatever there is involved but from the financial side of the equation it's a business transaction now the cause.
In a very real sense you don't care.
About their future what you're dealing with as your future.
I cared about their future you'd be together.
And that's not -- yet to be -- you have to be nasty I don't care what your future that's on -- about I'm just saying that you know all of a sudden.
What they want.
Really doesn't matter anymore this is now a business transaction.
And so I think you've got to decide.
To answer your question you know when you reach that point -- is in just say okay this is business.
And we're negotiating.
The distribution of the masks the assets -- the and the liabilities the deaths.
But in the meantime.
Up until that point I would sacrifice some money.
Certainly a lot of money to save -- marriage.
I wouldn't do it in an unhealthy way -- oh and -- way -- -- enabling our co dependent way.
But if you had to put a bunch of quote financial goals on hold it and just pile up some cash.
As an agreed thing between the couple while we work on healing the relationship.
All of I'd be very wise.
-- the relationship would would trump you doing your total money make over every time.
With the idea that later a -- relationship -- legion to.
Doing goals together financially which might look like a total money make over that make sense to you.
So what's going on -- marriage.
-- -- Day -- the a lot of things that it and argue -- counseling.
He won't he won't he won't let -- -- putting nor did the doctor which I think it.
My body doesn't think that he has any problems and he's willing to end the marriage.
You know he doesn't think the -- is going to end.
We dropped right he's in the -- -- everyday if that's been there every day is you know this could be the end we kept separate every day you know.
-- -- -- -- you need to go to a counselor and you need to establish.
Some progressive steps.
To get rid of this volatility.
This needs to progressively.
Get -- Or he's not getting progressively better and your progressively going to make other decisions.
You're you're being drawn in to his draw much daily that's what I -- terror.
-- I think at a time and so the drama eons.
We're gonna deal with this there's -- -- -- hurts -- issues we're gonna have some bad guys from -- days but our commitment is for progressively.
Over the scope of the month of the scope of the year we are getting better.
I'm not going to sit here in the septic tank up -- my neck and act like there's -- smell.
Does that make sense.
And so about what what happens as someone who's outside of the masks can help you.
Identify the smell.
And and that's a good counselor if he won't go for marriage counseling you need to today.
And that will give you verbiage to either draw him to marriage counseling.
Or to establish that this is not going to get better and you're going to have to draw painful boundary yourself.
But at least you're not at the -- of all of the melodrama that.
So -- as least as little possible at all melodrama we love people -- just part of the deal but.
You need some help guiding you through that but apple point -- -- original question again at the point.
That the marriages ending and we declare the big.
It's not -- will fight to overweight.
But at that point then the financial stuff.
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