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Let's go to Michelle in Rockford Illinois hi Michelle how are you tonight.
I -- big -- God what's up.
Well I was wondering how I can get my husband to participate in the management of our finances.
We've been married for sixteen years and he has nothing to do with the finances -- bringing home the paycheck.
And the worst part is I'm offender.
-- you do all the nerdy bill -- and stuff.
I do everything -- including giving him a bi weekly allotment and that.
His poll participation.
And I feel like the world on my shoulders.
There you go.
All right have you said that exact phrase to him.
Yes I have and he's valued comment to do better and participate more.
But as blog as I -- -- the budget he thinks I follow it and.
It can be no matter hey here here's the deal we're gonna change the process that.
We're not gonna ask you philosophically to help me with money.
I'm going to drop the budget.
And we're going to tell her off the television and Tuesday night at seven.
You have an appointment with me here to go through all of our bills and look at the stuff with me.
I don't mind -- going in writing the checks.
I don't mind drawing up the budget I do mind being your mommy.
And I'm really not going to do it anymore.
I hope that we're given where -- if you told him that and you said.
7 o'clock on Tuesday night you and are going to sit down look at that you promise me you would help.
You're good man and you're -- good provider I love you but I desperately need this I cannot carry the weight of this anymore.
I'm not wanting you to do all the work in the detail stuff but you need to carry the weight of the household with me.
That starts at 7 o'clock on Tuesday.
It is always -- Some you probably it down and -- and -- -- -- wondering did it change anything then why it.
It will -- causes it but it's gonna take a little time and that's a huge first step isn't it.
Okay for you to get everything out and show him where everything is.
-- have battle alone -- let some of the weight off.
Then you come up were they written game plan.
And the next level of commitment from him union there was actually look at that budget for this month this is where I think we -- to spend money.
And him just glancing at it for five seconds and -- okay let's cut is not good enough -- -- are you can't do that.
Push it back over there how what you really.
Look at the yes.
Because I'm not going to give you an allowance anymore.
I am not your mommy I'm not making allowance for the fact that you're not carrying your weight.
Okay that's what allowances.
In fact he's a teenager.
-- and that but he doesn't feel that way he feels like he has delegated this to the smarter member of the family.
That's how he feels.
He does not realize.
That he is emotionally.
Set a gravel truck across your shoulders.
-- you could go get -- talk a truck.
Toys -- Us.
And just roll across the table time ago I'm not carrying a gravel truck on my shoulders anymore.
-- this is a very heavy thing.
I can't carry it by myself anymore.
I don't feel like I'm doing the best job I think two heads are better than one.
I need you at least once a month spent an hour me looking at this and then we will stick to the game plan that we both a proof that they.
And then you can go write the checks with freedom but you can't writing checks -- on on the game plan.
But because you got to go back and be accountable next month for anything that's not on that plan -- if anything's on the -- -- got a -- quick meeting and adjust the plan.
Okay you're not allowed to do anything that's not on the budget ever again once you do this because you're just become.
The controller they -- they accounting person that writes the checks once the plan's done.
Didn't and you get fired from your job if you did something other than the plant.
That -- you if you were doing this for corporate corporate America so.
That's how you look at -- so he needs to hear that this is a huge key off.
He can give you were not and don't you -- we're not trying to turn him into -- heard though.
We're not trying turning into the person that does the bills Q and are the ones -- the bills where the -- at our house do that your your guess that in this area used only to carry all the weight of the thing.
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