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All right we're gonna start with -- and -- I guess it is in kitty hawk North Carolina is that right is it -- off.
Yet blurted hey how did it right I'm amazed at how did this day would ever -- -- certainly tell you what's up and you guys were all.
Well you keep -- I'll let her go and she's the one -- resident okay well our issue is longstanding we've been married a little over twelve years.
We have solid all the -- university that's who we are definitely convert.
But the issue is that I make more money than my husband does.
And he -- that will not get past the fact that it's our money is our house it's our count.
He constantly referred -- -- as my money my house he can't meet his paycheck on Friday and said here's my rent for the week.
And I want him to understand that all part of the -- and build them paid everybody's got a great job that they love we are the most fortunate people in the world.
But I just want him to get past this.
Kind of bug that's been that it's all mine and that's not his.
-- is that regarded that you described that -- Yes that's true that your main the different the money it is big.
I figured since she's the breadwinner as we're calling you know she should be and make the decision that's just -- Allah field.
And -- -- some of -- but some extent that he's gone -- but you know there but I'd I do think that she makes a lot more than I do.
That she should be in charge of the money make the decision.
That's just that's -- well you brought up that's way up field.
And I think -- cut and what do.
What do you make -- I make -- I make about forty what does she meant.
A lot more than Ryan Moore a lot more like over -- -- -- had their own business there's so I mean that that's what helped -- greater.
Sure -- like over 200 now now over a hundred yeah no cut from her.
All off let me ask you this my wife Sharon is a full time mom -- has been since -- 25 year old was born.
So 25 years.
Using your formula she should have no vote.
Well that's a little different that kid you know we don't have any duck can't say about -- I -- -- the -- I mean she's a she's -- she doesn't earn an income and so hurry and I think you -- -- did and then then doing all that that the job that -- I want.
-- -- we're not going to come about whether being a full time mom as it is a good career.
What I'm saying is is your comment and -- make sure I understand this right and I'm not poking fun -- -- I'm really trying to grasp this and I'm also you know gonna challenge you on it but that's.
-- but the you you said that based on the fact that she makes more than you she ought to make the decisions that's what you set exactly.
Make more than Sharon should I make all the decisions.
Now that the personal issue I think.
You know I mean that's that's just how I feel -- -- -- enough.
I don't know -- you think I -- to make all the decisions using your form.
Go limo because -- have situation might be different than your -- you know I understand that she's if she's that they come on you said.
But that and -- job in itself right there.
Yeah you gotta go -- player I'm sorry but that I think it's a team effort all the money get them to one putt.
All the -- get paid out the putt and everybody could have a say it could be a team not just one per -- Well I.
I agree with you.
But I I I don't know how to convince -- off of that.
And you guys have tried to talk this through work this through.
And there is a little bit of a different dynamic and I worked with a lot of couples over the years.
Where the lady makes more than the husband and with a very rare exceptions.
It's a difficult dynamic in the relationship.
I don't know why -- not being politically incorrect although I'm not afraid to be political Ingrid through Wimbledon my life there but there's some thing of bowel.
With the best stuff -- the smartest of us the most macho of us.
There's -- thing about our manhood that is attacked by that and it's not necessarily intellectually logical.
At some kind of a base level in there that has to be entering into this discussion a little bit.
And I'm not saying you're not a man and you're not saying you're not a man and all I kind of stuff.
But it's just a tough dynamic it really is because our psyches are set up and culturally we're set -- Where.
As he said the breadwinner.
But you know -- -- that's a strong praise coming from him.
I think that.
That that this is more of our relationship issue than it is a financial issue I will tell both of you -- -- got you on the phone this.
That the couples that do the best with money.
The ones who have the most success with money and the ones that have the most success.
Over the subject of money and marriage and -- the number one cause of divorce and fights in marriages.
Are the ones that play yet.
-- the way that -- assess.
And that is where both people have a vote regardless of income and the preacher when you get your married he comes down that you -- on the island he says.
And now you are one.
He didn't say and now you're joint venture you go do your thing you go do your thing.
He he didn't say and so you have to change your pro woman owns.
To have a positive situation in -- -- in the pro -- meaning there's not very many.
Yours and mine.
Me in the there's a lot of weak and our.
And so -- Sharon and I have had to work very careful on I grew up kind of like you all off I mean.
And so it's kind green -- me the same way I I can relate to where you are.
And I had to learn as a matter of having a high quality marriage to say and -- really mean it a lot that -- vote counts as much as mind.
And that any thing we own.
Or own of that I bought with income I created that.
It is how worse.
And so it's our money our budget our house our cars.
And even when I get the Matt best of mad and -- really good knock down drag out fight I can't pull that card out go -- pay for everything anyway so shut up you know you can.
I really can't go there.
But 'cause it get it it.
You know it terrorists the bricks out of the foundation of our relationship.
And so I would say Alan you've got up the extra marine -- careful.
-- from -- respecting his masculinity and manhood.
And you know re affirming that in a lot of different ways.
Away and and you know all -- I think you probably ought to give it a try.
To do it as a team.
Yet given a shot.
And see how it feels and if it feels weird and you guys are continuing struggle on this.
I don't think -- marriages broken I think the fact that you could both get on here and both be logical have a quality discussion is a huge.
Sign that you -- -- going to be great.
Well I know what that marriage partner on now I don't know but this it's just kind of slow -- -- your all -- It absolutely and what I would I do it what I would do is if you can't kind of work it out yourself.
But just concentrating on this issue trying it her way for a little while changing your -- but that doesn't work and you can't get there.
It probably be worth it to say -- the car from -- little rough.
It's not about the blow up but -- -- -- little rough let's sit down with a counselor who can give us a good marriage counselor who can give us some different language.
To talk about this and and just tune the car up so that it runs at high speed rather than you know just look -- that run along real run -- rough.
So but I think you guys can do -- and and a good sign of that is is that you're right here on the air talking about together two great discussion now thanks for.
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