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Next in Florida I'm moment welcome of the -- and -- Thank you big picnic my calls sure what's up but -- -- -- -- out very humbled and blessed I immediately -- -- pupils and you wanted to.
Well I'm back in the summer my husband I -- -- -- clap your church.
And gotten -- really blessed just to be able to help walk -- -- -- debt we'll work our way out of debt.
My only concern is it that my husband has been quite as excited I am.
-- onboard with your plan the only thing is that he wants me to do it I mean he won't get down and talk about -- -- -- not doing a great job.
He's not on -- -- I have.
Well he's not on -- your plan.
Well he's he's.
We're going to stay within that budget he is likely to get -- -- allowance and you know let him do his thing.
So he wants -- -- not -- -- but -- actually called me he calls you mom.
Whenever like it'll hit that -- the month that there -- and like -- this week I call -- a peep that I am here locally on the back Eddie Goodell -- -- mommy had current cover -- that I think though it's almost like.
He'll do -- that he doesn't want to do it.
It actually makes fun of the whole process.
-- -- Island good economy and what I only -- you kind of feel like the only adults in this finals.
-- -- acting.
Yes I mean I want you to go carry all the way to make all the decisions and win.
But I'm gonna make fun of you while you do it and I'm going to be had an emotional drain on the process.
-- -- -- Well I don't think you keep it that way I think you can't think that this could get that god has given me to be able to manage our finances that will give him hit many of these happy.
I don't care how he sees it.
I agree with I mean you know he can see yet -- wants to see if there's a lot of people see things wrong.
No I think Saddam.
I think that he -- this man's wife would love for him to man up.
And carry some of the weight of the decision making of this households.
And you know two adults together making the decisions.
Hey I'm pretty strong obviously and strong opinion -- and and loud and all -- kind of stuff.
And brash or whatever you want to call it and I can make decisions on my own.
But they're usually not in that they're not nearly as good a decision as if I make them in tandem when my wife.
And my wife is the same way she's a very capable very assertive lady.
Very intelligent and she can make decisions on our own but -- not nearly as good decision as if she makes them -- me.
That's why were married.
It will not only did anybody get -- -- -- board well I think he needs to grasp the idea that that you're not looking to raise a little boy.
That you were looking for a husband.
And I think you need to tell -- that.
That you know I appreciate the confidence that you have -- -- -- that's God's given me administratively.
The administration gift.
Two to implement this plan but don't appreciate you emotionally abandoning me to be the only adult in the -- -- making decisions.
And I don't appreciate being made fun of for being the only adult why you act like a little boy.
And quite frankly I'm becoming resentful.
Mama putting on -- out -- that if if you feel that way you should.
Absolutely I -- that late it just seemed like -- you say that.
It just got started big fight.
We'll go to I think one needs to be started.
-- things are not good in paradise right.
I English -- English you continue in this dysfunction and then and it gives the appearance that everything's okay but you're getting more discuss the day by day.
And so now you can be a little less blunt and you can say it may be you didn't realize how this was affecting me.
But the way it's affecting me is since you're not carrying any of the -- of the decision making and you make fun of me when I do make the decisions.
I'm becoming very resentful.
And I really need you to be a man.
And walk with me in the decision making on these things I'll go do the check writing in the do the budget but you need to go over it with me and we together.
Need to carry the weight of our future.
Maybe that's a little more we can still have our meeting it.
Every week you think I'm so I'm good about that you need to sit down I think -- so I can show them on paper.
And he pretty and he needs to understand it and he needs to not just go along -- mommy's budget.
But he needs to look at it and go -- together.
Were making this decision yes you're the administrative when you're gonna go write the checks and everything.
And you did the budget but I'm gonna look at it with you and we're gonna decide together -- the budget art house in -- looks at it with me.
And then together she says how well we're you know you forgot about we're going over here Thanksgiving is -- you're gonna need this money for that -- -- forget that OK and so we do a few corrections and she's like well I'm a little more for this this month or less this month and you know and then and then we together are sticking to it and I don't have to think about.
Her coming to me for permission to do something or vice Versa.
It's laid out our game plan that we together decided on.
It's like you know building a house you -- have a blueprint -- you do that is -- -- point of communication what the house is gonna look like.
And and so on you know.
On the one hand he's praising you for having this -- on the other hand a peek at your legs -- Monday.
-- -- -- Yeah yeah actually right if -- if -- -- -- just yell out at any point lead.
So I I think you need to ask him to do that and my guess is this is a pretty good guy just a real easy going guy and you know concerned about details and he kind of thinks he's funny.
And I don't -- it's funny.
Cutting your wife is not -- the way to get a laugh.
And bring in our it but he doesn't he's not mean your he doesn't have malice I don't I don't think that's this guy.
I mean I don't think he has any you know if he heard us talking like this are these watches this on TV that'll be fine.
But he he never thought of himself in the way that I'm discussing him.
He always thinks of himself -- -- how what she's good bodies littered with the school and then make a funny joke -- so often I'll hop.
And that's how he looks at and -- I don't cut but he -- at what point is -- Gary smalley the great marriage counselor says that sometimes a husband or wife will drop a pebble.
They thought it was a pebble but when it hits or spouses foot it looked more like a bowling ball.
And so he's dropping a pebble and you're getting hit with a bowling ball.
And this whole process is getting here.
It's not that is somehow that it's wrong because it's.
He's not doing that -- thing -- giving -- -- -- -- it's about how you interact with your spouse -- -- situations.
And -- You know you need to communicate to him I know you think you're dropping a pebble but you're hitting me on the foot for the bowling ball and you hit me a little -- -- Bollenbach.
And then you walk around -- -- -- -- -- -- get a good job I mean they'll look this stop these mixed messages let's let's work together I need you man nothing -- The decision making with me.
Happy go lucky is not attractive at this point if if if if if it's bill award diplomatic -- -- remain in your discussion or play this back maybe it'll help you put.
Apartment it was called the big fight but -- you need to -- when you need to communicate better than you are you're stuffing all these emotions but --
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