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-- hi kitty welcome to the Dave Ramsey shot.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Continued -- have moral dilemma where he lieutenant.
I -- my heart and -- have helped support high end models on and off about last 1010 years.
While leaving card debt ceiling and can flash it will pick your financial peace university class and -- -- -- that -- -- -- cut it.
We've been able to eliminate -- -- -- -- -- -- that we feel happy I'm and on top of that money has been targeted and business cricket side effect them much better financial situation.
-- -- -- -- I am all memoir not come got her money -- got to take care of our financial problems.
I'll -- control it.
Well now that money has -- and that's a bit fact -- -- probably have a moral obligation to help them out you know.
-- you do not have a moral obligation to help them out the -- that -- not help from the out.
All you've done -- -- enable them this is gone on for free can decade.
And -- And kind and you -- -- moral obligation now I have a spiritual.
To honor my parents.
And that is to honor the position of parenthood.
But I don't have to honor their misbehavior.
If your mother's doing cocaine you can honor your mother but not her cocaine you wish.
That makes sense -- hard and so you you'd you have an obligation to be nice to them.
-- gentle with them.
You do not have an obligation be abused by them.
And you know I'm an obligation to give the money now what I would do is -- us.
I would be willing to give them some money if you have some money and your out of that you're able to do that have been put to -- -- If it is helping them but so far all you've done is -- a drink -- a drunken drink.
I'm very and so but that's the way you say I agree you're done you're kind of -- clip.
And I'm near and so I'm I want I was you say you got your your planning that you got playing anger built up and you know it's justified.
You know and so what you've got to convince your husband who is an enabler.
To his parents.
And you've gone a long way that against your will would you go along with a but you've got to convince him that he's not really help them that he's actually hurt them.
Because he participated.
In their denial.
Of their situation.
They're acting like nothing's wrong to better by not changing their behavior and you helped them -- that way.
-- meaning that you hurt them.
Right and I.
That's what an enabler does an enabler is a very nice sweet person who thinks they're helping and in reality you're actually harming.
-- you -- -- immediately and call for about how they can't shore they're doctor visits.
Can call -- an arm and.
Well ivory -- get that phone call on -- take come right back to the same place.
Here's what we need you do we need to do these three things boom boom boom and you can teach them financial patient you can put them through financial issue diversity.
When we see your written budget and we see that you're living on your written budget and then at the other day you have a legitimate still need at that we will participate at some level.
But right now you're not participating because you're not taking care of your money.
Do you think we need -- -- -- -- they're always -- -- getting help for helping them get on about it showing them how.
I'm not going to do it for them I can't.
I'm gonna show them how we coach them and encourage them and love someone held by forcing them to address -- crap.
And we address -- and then if they are doing the very best they can.
And -- still a lot of money and you wanna give them some money wasn't you should then if you got some home.
And you wouldn't feel bad about it then either right.
How I feel even more than -- -- really great saying if they were hungry and it wasn't their fault.
But you know it and people say well you're Christian yeah the Christian Bible says those that don't work don't let them eat.
Why because it's not good for you to not work.
Work isn't a good thing.
It's very -- I think my father Ramallah and the job that it commission and lay and in the economy.
He's ranking -- -- -- hundred dollars a month while not I've -- has offered him a job ten dollars an hour.
I think he thinks -- can -- doesn't take it.
There's not a beneath him that's for charity.
You know again though you cannot do -- your husband has to do this.
You -- I've already said too much.
I expect that at.
And you're gonna become the wicked evil daughter in law if you're not real careful here and it's not your fault you're just the only one that's outside of this dysfunction.
And recognizing it so you -- -- we -- husband and coach him up and walk with -- encourage him to be strong and encouraging to them the book -- boundaries.
By doctor Henry cloud.
You need to read that book and your family tonight boundary.
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