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All right Jean Marie is with us in Riverside California hi Jean -- how are you tonight.
He made it thank you particularly called sugar -- -- -- -- -- but analysts say they have already purchased book and I hear I'm so excited when I hear a couple of colleagues saying a word they actually see the problem with whom I have.
Hadn't just not on board.
I make about 99000 dollars a year the college professor he brings -- about 50000 dollars the year.
I have about 80008.
-- Did he blow yeah.
And about 21000 and a -- I can walk off after the California they've got them except that they are laying off ten years and I can't get a look them.
And -- I make any of them.
We we may have.
And I are -- Yet by the eleventh -- and -- say -- -- because we recently.
Got unnoticed that's something she they have not been filed luckily where -- -- -- to deal with that.
I have about 900 dollars in credit card yet.
Actually -- I have about what we're expecting fourth I'll be back from the higher.
I have not 3500.
Twelve YE a towel then process how companies helped in -- month.
And how long have you been attempting to get him on board.
-- over the years.
Let's say they pay things off early -- be getting out of -- about sixty years.
So you've been married -- -- In yeah this last set of discussions when did this for again as a result of Dave Ramsey thing in the books -- all that stuff for what.
Yeah actually adding that -- might get a good -- for the quality of the senate approval that I grew up where.
They are saying terrible -- -- lately have you talked to him about this.
Yeah yeah like win and went -- the conversations on life.
Well the conversation was.
Yeah oh we really need to get a handle on -- -- -- are going to college this year.
And let's -- -- and -- did the same apathy.
The baby bottles conversation and that we have had the over the years he wants -- quit his job -- he wants to.
Just not that you don't even if that money is to be and as opposed to -- -- you don't maybe plot a minority until seven DE 49 -- I'm 45.
Well I think you're -- telling that you do mind.
I'm not gonna put up with this anymore.
This level of mediocrity.
This level of you're acting like you're freaking four years old you have no vision for our family I'm sick of it.
And I really am tired of you acting like a little boy.
What am -- saying I'm singing to pick a fight.
Because you've been so tolerant of this that you don't think it's a big deal and so far any he has made he set the rules.
And the rules are based on no vision.
Not much of -- work ethic.
And we're not spend everything we make or retire broken -- and then be mad at the government because they won't take care of us.
That's a ridiculous plan.
His plan and -- -- living a life is not okay and so I think you need to pick a fight I think you put up with this long enough for my suggesting -- now.
But I think you need to pick a fight if you can't get a rose a rise out of him and the responses says hey I'm really sick of you being a little boy I need a man.
I -- -- got to walk with me and accomplish the goals for our family.
And take care of our daughter's college -- have -- some dignity -- retirement.
We make a -- -- a 150000.
Dollars a year I'm sick of being broke.
-- -- okay response.
-- -- now let me tell you what's gonna happen.
There's two options to this there's two possible outcomes outcome number one as he's gonna go oh crap -- serious.
I'm I mean I mean to look at this and you're gonna see some transformation in him.
Gradually don't expect perfection immediately it's a fifteen year have a pattern we're trying to shift.
And you know cut -- if he starts coming along a little bit encourage the good stuff and and don't just continue to -- -- and -- the point here is not to.
Two be a jerk your husband that's not the point but I'm saying that you've not been strong enough in these discussions where he hears that this is.
Lydia I've been doing this financial counseling stuff for a long time and sadly a high percentage of people in this situation go along for a -- And eventually you'll reach some point.
A percentage of people like you will reach some point where you just -- And there's no -- you back to the marriage you just become so this.
Disillusioned with who he is as a person.
They used walk away and I don't want that I want you got to course correct what you still got a marriage.
And so -- possible outcome number one is he hears you because you put some passion into this discussion and you literally are picking a fight.
In a positive kind of away as much as you can -- -- -- that then the pot a negative the negative outcome is is that he does well good.
-- with you.
And that tells you that you know you really have your marriage has deteriorated further than you realized and you're gonna have to go see -- marriage counselor whether he goes or not.
On how you can put your marriage and start to draw him back in -- your marriage.
Because you know when you cannot agree you all know where your money's going you don't agree on your future.
This is huge -- a marriage it's huge.
And so you may end up the marriage counselors office and that's an okay thing I'd rather you be there -- sitting here.
You know -- your -- in in that stuff it's not working.
-- he's so he's got to change you know you have to have that Dr.
Phil moment house of Morgan Gloria what's been.
And so something's got to pos solution.
And that that means that we got to step in this marriage and -- it or there's enough from the strong up marriage there that that this one element this money thing can be.
Can be dealt with and he actually hears you and he starts to come around.
But I'm simply not okay.
With this not gonna put up with this anymore -- you know you act like you're -- seventeen year old kid you spend your paycheck every single month and I'm a grown up.
And I really want to be married to a grownup.
And you know I think it's an okay thing to say you've tried the other stuff and so a little bit of a punch.
So to speak metaphorically.
You know it is the wake up calls a good thing for your relationship and I'm not trying to suggest you to walk out on that's not don't hear that that's not what -- that.
But I -- need to create a crisis here in the way you all are dealing with this because otherwise you're just gonna keep doing what -- -- doing keep getting -- -- been getting in the sucks it's -- change.
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