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Start with Virginia Woodbridge Virginia calling him and Bobby is on the line.
-- Bobby how are you tonight.
Good day of good evening -- particular call germ what's open your world.
-- I'm kind of in a difficult situation.
-- my parents.
I think for money from time to time and I'm married now.
And it makes it really difficult the last time massive ethnic -- they needed -- About the cutter and had fifty dollars for light build my mother called me crying because they're gonna get -- like a golf -- -- my anniversary.
A wedding anniversary -- -- my -- and I got because they cry.
I'm trying to find a way to set -- battery -- after I had.
That problem and sometimes they don't pay me back and -- that a lot of problems with the so what do you think -- should give.
Can I won't even married.
I don't wanna learn how old are you -- And then why -- your sixty something year old parents not able to pay their bills.
My father is a really the money he's basically I thought he wants and then had it baker globe -- need.
If this is in LA for a while he's even taken out -- I was much younger -- gone cool college.
He has got a lot of -- my name brand of the bill.
And they've all really -- Muqtada David my credit.
Of course but -- -- David McCarty well I was younger but it.
They'll build off well but -- is that typical situation and I -- -- A separate ourselves from separate myself from them a lot but it started kind of getting back.
-- bring them more often bad and -- happened.
-- -- Why did you separate yourself from.
-- Because -- Because of things like this let me ask me for money or -- -- saying that.
Difficult to do.
And it kind of makes my relationship -- my life more difficult.
I'm barely and the fight is not -- my -- and let it over the -- you more angry with samples.
In the bag them from time to -- And so it's not your your wife's.
Being upset has everything to do with just.
Loving you well not not just being a jerk on her part.
So you're saying any sane human being that -- you would've been upset.
Yeah -- and arm and what are you guys make -- -- you and your wife what your household income.
We make about.
-- and do you have.
Are you in good shape financially when you have money.
Well we have this start your financial peace university com as of April and we didn't realize how much money we're spending out -- and how much we are wasting.
Until we start taking a course.
And we're doing better now want that to your financial plan.
Yeah I've got -- death -- -- and you don't have a you know like a million dollars in the bank or something you know like Lincolnshire where you stand.
And so -- even though you make good money you don't have tons of money to throw at this right now.
The current moment that.
-- but they six hundred -- on normal amount I mean one of the amounts and are they usually that kind of size or they thousands -- a -- -- about.
-- -- Well I.
I think that people that love you and that are saying your wife.
Are telling you that this relationship we -- parents and the money is on helping.
And I think you think it is right.
-- so how -- we fix that is the -- -- we can't keep doing what you're doing.
It's not helping your parents and it's not helping your relationship when your wife and it's there's not Smart on your part.
-- fair to them help -- -- didn't change him that it.
There they go right back for the same -- and -- and really help on.
You just help them -- you you really would have been better off to let them heard a little bit so that they would avoid the crisis next time.
And when you were separated from them they seem to manage to get through somehow.
I don't think you're loving your parents well.
I think you're you're participating in -- him -- -- stupidity.
Does that make sense.
There and so I think the book is that you need to -- and you need to get your highlight her sticky notes all through this -- bound to X.
By doctor Henry clout boundaries by doctor Henry -- It's an absolute home run.
Any one of the things and explains to -- is when you set a boundary with an unreasonable person they may continue to be unreasonable it doesn't fix it.
And I may get mad at -- they may throw -- but that doesn't mean the boundary is wrong and it doesn't mean you're wrong to set the boundary.
Just because they continue or they accelerate their misbehavior.
And so it doesn't fix it it doesn't make your mom and dad okay it doesn't do all of that.
And then you can offer to help them win within reason on some things I don't think you ever loan the money ever again.
Because borrowing money and loaning money and SATA family is an absolute disaster.
Now would I suggest that you give them 650 dollars if fertilizer about to be cut off.
Yes I would I think you should.
The off you're really helping them.
Now how can we really help them when we're giving them -- fish but they also need to be made to fish.
And I -- if I had a relative that was continually coming to me and asking for money I would require that they go through financial -- diversity.
I would require that they begin to manage money well and as a part of that I might help them financially.
Then -- not only given them fish shop talk them to fish.
But if you just give people fish may never learn to fish.
You know the story I mean that that's and so I think that you know that's loving your parents well -- will they accept that offer of help.
Probably not because honestly their -- -- aren't there.
Analysts at evolution -- let's -- -- bone is removed from their body.
Or they're sucking -- of people being a parasite all the time and they decide to be productive disciplined well oiled machines -- they can handle their money.
You're probably -- to get a negative reaction.
You know when you try to tell parasite not to be a parasite and be productive than that changes things not just -- your parents names but truth is that's -- they're acting.
You told -- that a lifelong pattern of that and it's gotten worse was that a better.
So when you love them well please do not expect well.
A positive result you may get it but don't expect that.
Is it possible they may just get mad you're the bad -- and you'll take care your family you've gotten too good for your -- too big for your refuses so long.
And you know that's just -- much crap.
And I think -- review you're not any of those things.
And they're just parasites.
And so when you draw a line with somebody that's misbehaving you don't always get a positive result.
That you need to learn draw that line it's part of growing up and party you have a great marriage and party having great kids.
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