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-- little -- give siblings only blamed it on one of them and you got trouble they took the extra could even thinking veto ever was when -- condition as a little kid.
-- Blame other people right to point -- finger but that's you shouldn't do as an adult.
And it certainly affects your performance in the workplace and Peter Bregman is on to talk about that in a second and fun again.
Nice to see -- to you though is fairly late Arafat.
I was late but I guess I am and -- I'll take it out here playing like take the play that game -- you went there -- go to Hawaii taking it well because.
Because ultimately the blame conversation is a complete and total waste -- better I can't I agree I would take and yeah.
And and and you know there's there's two ways in which is a waste of energy one is.
We get defensive and we try to brought block the blame but for what right I mean when we were kids you know maybe would have had -- but at this point.
It's not about what you did wrong it's about what you're gonna do next right and and so so on the one hand we spend this tremendous amount of time trying to figure out who was responsible for it.
And if that were really.
A quest to understand the root cause of -- problem in order of events all that great I -- But generally not it's sort of request to say how can I push it off on someone else so that I'm not held responsible -- And and that that there's a double whammy that -- of all the wasted time than we spend trying to batter -- blame.
But the second is I'm not gonna learn anything.
If I'm not gonna accept my responsibility or accountability problem -- Oftentimes.
In -- it.
Productive to find out who should -- -- to fix the root of the problem if that's what we're doing great.
Right to say that not not and then I wouldn't even use the word blame but then I might say so let's really look at what happened here.
Let's look at what happened -- look at what each person did and let's figure out how we could build a system for how we can build relationships how we can build habits.
That prevent that from happening in the future that's a great conversation to.
And -- and companies out there should be looking in -- Not passing the blame to -- just improve the work.
Place -- -- right I mean if you take the blame Democrats if you say here's what I was responsible for -- here's where I made mistakes and is elected you differently.
Well then you're building a foundation for improved performance than your building -- -- -- -- -- -- a culture saying let's look at our problems let's face -- Let's fix them and then let's move on different samples for a I'm sure there was you know I was in strategy off -- actually and it was fascinating to watch because the numbers weren't so great in this company the last couple quarters hadn't been good.
And everybody was sort of sitting around going you know well you know sales sales isn't isn't selling enough -- and sales -- saying it.
Well we would -- fine if the product for a little better and the product people didn't like we have more R&D money we met.
-- -- everyone's putting it off of someone else until.
Eventually the head of marketing stood up and he said.
I -- I could see a bunch of things I could have done better in the last couple quarters and I want to look at does not want to talk about the and he started.
To list the things that -- -- -- -- that he thinks he could have done better places where he had sort of misstep can now that's a very interesting moment right because.
The dynamic changes everyone's pushing off the blame on everyone else now here's someone stands up and says I'll take the blame when it -- -- right.
So here's what happened you think credibly -- you would think.
People don't do that because they think there's this risk wolf I think the blame everyone's gonna breathe a sigh of relief jump on me and -- -- get fired.
Right because -- need -- scapegoat.
But the exact opposite happened.
People started to feel guilty that you're the guy standing up and taking the blame and they were pushing it off and other people and one by one instead of jumping on the bandwagon.
They tried to ease his pain.
They was -- wait a second -- them.
Could yeah I mean there's some things you can do better.
But but I contributed to that ticket right.
And others as competition over who can take the blame because now.
He had shifted the sense he would change the dynamic where it was cooler to say I'm responsible so tough I wanna fix it and -- -- -- other CEO reacted to that which is -- Great I really appreciate enough people quit need to me until I did some stuff right.
And and within a quarter.
The company turned out right because all of these people are saying I wanna -- what I was doing if there is -- -- think -- one corner later one quarter later there's limited success and within a couple of years they'd sold to much bigger organization which is there and that's -- And that's all took it took a bunch of people saying I'm responsible for what I was doing wrong let me fix it.
You know I think is reminding him you know media campaign when they have you know it's -- trailer.
And I want to me they were -- and they did well it's funny it was fun policy the moment elements do you reckon and a person approaching taking the blame or apologizing for something what are what are some of the -- I would say keep it incredibly simple step one figure out where you contributed in any way.
Where you contributed.
To what's not going writer the discussion -- the problems that the face and figure out where you've contributed.
And in any possible way anywhere in one -- that you contributed.
Take responsibility and accountability for stand up and say here's what I did wrong and here's what I wanna do differently by the way.
It's the power move.
It's much more powerful for me to say here's what I wanna do differently because of someone's trying to attack me.
Right so let's try to attack me and I now say here's what I did wrong to put on beautifully what are they gonna attack where else they -- -- Lady -- and asks what you're getting blamed for an issue that would get you fired and 100% to do.
I think if you 100% didn't do it and it would get you fired then I think the best for what you never quite know what's gonna get fired because I've tried to get.
Many times in my life and I keep getting promoted when they try to get tired.
They can rest and it happened I take risks just like there right like you know what this is what I think is the right thing I'm gonna do the right thing even if it gets me fired.
And certainly I'm getting promoted and thinking I wanna work here anymore.
-- you you know.
And so as I was -- the first thing I would say is you know take a deep breath before you think -- get fired because that's -- that's an excuse we often use to not do the right thing yet right.
The second as if it's really something you've never done before I would I would say it is luck.
I would be happy to take the blame are involved in this and if we could talk about where I've participated in this I want to understand that better because I want to get better and I don't -- -- contribute.
To that two problems that we face -- -- I want to understand that's I want you to tell me.
I want you to blame me so that I can understand better what I did wrong because that's all I care -- I can't explain that.
-- -- -- accepting blame Peter -- -- UN -- had a company together I don't know the the -- thank you everybody.
For joining us Peter your article is out finding your website now I believe and I want to have that right.
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