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“Your Killer Emotions” author Ken Lindner on how to master your emotions to get ahead in your career.
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-- your New Year's resolution is to get the big box get a huge raise a big promotion more business at work.
Then this is -- you the strategic mastermind behind your favorite fox pieces here box including me is is my agent he is here with the Bible.
-- how to get it done super agent -- -- wrote the book your killer emotions.
There it is and he joins me now to share some of is an amazing advice thank you so much for coming on the show.
Should be here excellent why so why should Wright spoke what are you hoping to help people way.
-- -- last thirty years I've counseled thousands of people to make great life choices and one thing I found.
-- -- when people are sad when they're angry.
When they feel disrespect it when they're resentful.
There -- emotions cloud their best judgment and they -- self sabotaging decisions.
I've seen time and time again that the smartest individuals.
The people with the best life strategies.
When they're overwhelmed by emotions once again they are destructive.
Its -- of his people aboard they feel -- they feel they wanna lash out at the boss of the supervisor wherever it is.
And they end up only doing more damage to themselves I'd love your book I read it because it talks about how you can check yourself.
A Detroit -- motions and some of the things to look for wanna put them up so everybody can use that -- don't make an important decision or choice.
When your overcome by emotions what does that mean in how do you know that your overcoming your not justified its people -- justified.
Well first of -- You never want to make a life choice when your overcome with emotions you want to be cognitively clear.
The other thing is Melissa you want to know what you want to get out of every interaction.
I mean these strategic.
And when your.
Filled with -- -- you probably will not be strategic you want a quick fix and that quick fix oftentimes will be counter to what she really wants.
Wait until the next day I would say that's what saved as draft was Mitt -- for your Blackberry like don't think you don't just -- -- and and go to sleep a wait until the next day and then look at it and make sure you still really feel that so were so wait.
-- the second thing you mentioned it but strategically identify what you really want think -- self.
What is your goal in this and and make sure that you could see it out loud not my goal is to punish response to make them feel stupid.
What do I really want along where do I want this person job my looking for promotion -- looking for more money.
My just looking for respect right is that -- on the right track.
Absolutely you want to know what will make your heart saying you want to know what you want the short term and the long term.
And I trademarked the term career choreography and -- that I mean.
There are a certain or is a certain set of logical steps that people can put together.
That will lead you to -- would get what you want out of.
We're gonna go in the long exact you can you can -- out -- -- you say there -- a time and place for everything and that every conversation.
There is a right time to do it also.
I love this one.
Visualize the most severe consequences.
That a bad emotionally charged trees can happen in the most positive consequences that could come -- -- about that.
Let's -- consequence cognizant.
And if Tiger Woods Kobe Bryant David Petraeus.
Arnold Schwarzenegger had thought about.
-- heinous consequences.
Of their acts they probably would not have done them.
Conversely.
If you think about the most wonderful.
Things that can take place by making a constructive positive decision.
Those energy charges will lead you to make a great life decision.
The last one is one that you have personally told me and it has helped me so much when I'm trying to make decisions and you say see things.
From their point of view which like something that you know you say to kids -- would that hurt their -- -- you really mean.
What is that they care after what is it that there trying to understand where they're coming from -- -- from the other person's point of view right.
Absolutely and it makes you.
Natalie highly strategic to do that but that but you put sure.
He put percentages in your favor that you can succeed if you know what other people's expectations are you can meet them you can anticipate.
What's going to happen.
So you really want to do.
What I love about this book as well is that it's about what to do at work and how to get ahead but really the principles that you're talking about can be applied to almost anything I mean whether it's.
You're managing other people -- whether it's you know your own family in your own relationships to -- a lot of these things.
What's the outcome of what you're gonna say.
Don't lash out we you know quick take a cooling period before you do anything I mean all these lessons in this book can be applied to.
Almost any sort of conflict or -- -- you're trying to work out whether it's money related or not.
Absolutely I mean when you're in an emotional -- you can make a terrible.
Personal decision just as easily should make -- Terrible professional decisions I -- to help people stop smoking stop drinking stop cursing.
Stop yelling at their spouse what ever it is you -- through finding your personal emotional triggers actually break up toxic scripting.
-- -- -- love the book your killer emotions and it's great go out and get it he is a mastermind behind all the beautiful ladies you see here box he's the guy.
Are -- good advice K thanks so much so.
