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How to take back your life in 2013

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    Peter Bregman says creating rituals and leaving work when you leave work will help you start fresh

  • Duration 6:37
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-- Peter pregnant and onset joining us now so it's almost 2013 which kind of scary scary but you know what -- we look forward to know.

In 2013.

-- to get us personally about -- -- to the feel like you've just became 2012 yet.

They found it seems like because of cuts yeah -- always -- to make a -- they had did during near saint.

Feel productive.

Exactly but I actually pretty good thing to do I mean pretty good to say you know what -- -- -- -- this year and what I'm not -- -- what are wanting militants have been.

I think one of the hardest things about this transition time you know this end of 2012 but getting a -- thirteen.

Is how crazy it -- you know.

I mean you should enjoy the holidays you should enjoy you know new endings in new beginnings and yet.

There's you know a million holiday parties to go through there is.

You know there's a tremendous amount of -- of you work that you need to accomplish before he gets started next year and then we're sort of wanted to you know create our focus for the -- And it's incredibly incredibly busy.

And one of the things that we lose in the process all of all about is ourselves.

That we just sort of lose track we whose ability to stay centered and grounded and focused on the work that we're doing in the people that were -- and right and and I find that I -- -- find that that's especially difficult on the holidays but if always difficult right because.

We've got you know we can be accessed anywhere blackberries and iphones and and text messaging and emailing and I mean there's like no where we can't be reached so we're working all the time and we're busy all the time.

Right -- that could start with is that my son.

Daniel who's five years -- we -- at a restaurant.

And the waiter came over and was interrupted by his manager in the middle of taking -- order covered and -- Exactly and the waiter does is leave us and the -- -- my seven year Daniel said.

Sufficient rated governments and health and where did -- go and Daniel without this heavy set I think he went to take a conference call.

-- -- valeo is time and I guess that's.

I don't know I guess I'm always leaving them and -- yeah.

So that taught -- also like.

There are now it's Michael my hands unknown at a conference call and.

I love those of the conference -- -- knows -- that's what people -- yeah it's not a manifestation.

So what.

Things on the big advocate -- -- -- ritual is creating rituals because these boundaries like end of 2000 -- the twelfth beginning of 2013.

They're fake boundaries right -- and man made people made boundaries we we don't know that December.

31 January 1 is a switch until we actually see you know party all night and then -- at midnight and I mean did nothing but yeah.

Let me but -- -- But you know we have to create rituals to create boundaries.

So that when we're working we're working when we're with our kids -- -- kids -- we're doing planning we're doing -- that's stressful it's very stressful -- -- stress and everything melts into each other.

Other big proponent of creating rituals like we have some rituals like New Year's -- but there's rituals we don't have do you have a ritual to begin your -- -- and -- if you have a ritual when you're gonna put your work away and spent time with your -- when you're not.

And -- check your Blackberry -- it's acceptable to stash it away but you don't give yourself enough credit he saved a lot of work from home the home.

And Euro is kind of going in and out of -- Hamas and its right to spend time to your kids -- do different things out -- house.

I'm but I think this kind of case there -- -- he's very intent to argue never home.

Thank you -- your generous and I and I I love that I -- is why I love doing a lot of work at home is because when my kids come home from school I can I can get out -- -- -- sort of break my -- country.

The problem is when -- break it the other way.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- And it's very.

I'm so so but your point is great which is that if we can be intentional.

About when we're breaking the boundary where we're not breaking the -- And a ritual allows us to be -- second intentionally say when my kids come home.

I would love a ten minute break right now to roll on the floor with -- -- would Daniel and took -- to play around and let me go back to work that's great.

If it's unintentional.

Like I'm seduced into answering my phone because -- rings and then I end up not doing what I want to do which -- spent time with them.

Then.

Then I'm getting caught -- -- -- And and that's when they need that ritual that -- -- 2013 at risk of the year of the -- The year of the ritual of the year really creating some boundaries so that we get done what we -- -- get done and we don't get seduced off our.

And it's very easy to get -- with modern technology this is a constant right but many people there is we'll -- you literally don't.

Home and office is the same thing but for many people.

You bring work home with you literally be tests.

You're just expected to answer.

Every every minute today yeah any even if you're not expected -- knowing right now I doubt Airbus says you must answer emails whenever they're sent you feel that you'll get ahead if you don't.

So here's the secret the secret is.

If you take some time to respond to people not days and days and days but if you don't answer your Blackberry for your iPhone and -- o'clock at night.

Right but if you stop.

All communication from 8 o'clock on.

And you don't start again until 7 o'clock in the morning -- 8 o'clock no -- yes.

Nobody cares and there are -- -- they know how to content is a good policy for allowed and so we'd put that pressure on ourselves.

Because we feel like we need to do that to be good workers.

I -- that's not true a lot of people and -- Holes bunch of industries who say one of the reasons why they.

Kind of work around the clock not necessarily working hard but but keep up with what's going on on the -- because they don't -- feel that pressure in the morning.

I mean there isn't sitting quality you know not -- can't believe -- not some of them home and -- heard that yet.

And you will hold their breath when they're reading you -- and it stresses them out and some of the reasons that I used to hold dozen -- me.

If you passionately even if it's decided Groupon our friends you know he would -- -- -- you you are stressed by what could be in.

That flooded in my price right that it cause.

There's all sorts of not only is -- your tremendous amount of anxiety right -- so given that.

Do we really want -- when we're about to go to sleep at like I know a lot of people do like I do sometimes.

We really want to at.

At 10 o'clock have the last thing we do before we go to sleep check our email to us now came hours and we wanted to be the first thing that we do and we make up reach over at 6:30 in the morning.

Check to see what emails came and.

Well that's better than waking -- and other -- that strategic.

-- want to avoid is well Peter recommending he's so much for coming and I will make your website on this --

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