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Welcome back everybody so our coverage of the monster storm is sandy in the aftermath continues with Peter Bregman joining us.
-- I heard you had Jamaican through sending we did okay where -- have no idea what side -- can't hurt right so yes we're sort of on the hill -- near the -- we celebrated Halloween yesterday that it almost felt wrong that's exactly right and we're gonna talk about those feelings precisely.
So you know that the thing about a disaster is it brings up a tremendous number feelings for a lot of different people.
And there are certain feelings it feels like you're allowed to house and in certain feelings it feels like you probably shouldn't have and you let him be ashamed of having -- for us.
There's there's devastation there -- -- -- cried when I heard of these.
Boy is the eleven year old and a thirteen year old west -- the the -- tree -- -- them I mean it's it's.
There's disasters and there's people who are you know that there's the flooding of the businesses and billions of dollars lost.
And my kids are off school.
And so hey are they cheer every day they cheer every day they find that -- you know off of school and they're really happy.
And and they want to go see the wind damage and where is sort of looking.
And it it everywhere if that yeah and it -- -- shameful.
And the reality is that we all have a variety of different feelings and it's very dangerous in the sense.
To take some feelings and pushed them off and say oh that's about feelings about -- not feel them because they leak out in insidious ways and they either.
We either stuff them down and they sit there is energy in our body and then make -- second -- back certainly -- and -- -- and or they come out and we're -- and you see this it's not just disasters like this it's.
If you see this in business all the time people get laid off and you're not one of them you're gonna feel a lot of different things you're gonna feel sad for the people been laid off.
You're gonna feel.
-- -- -- want an unhappy you know one of them.
And those things -- -- you could you could legitimize but the feeling that wow now you have an opportunity in the organization to move up in a way that you didn't before had.
That feels painful and -- guilty because you're you're taking advantage of something that's you know in some ways that we were out.
A day of Halloween instead of an evening of Halloween because our kids didn't have school.
We were almost taking advantage.
Of something that was this is disaster for so many people -- -- -- and a so so the first thing you do is you feel.
Everything you feel indiscriminately.
And I just recognizing feel you let yourself feel -- you you don't you admit to yourself.
That even though this is terrible thing happening that a lot of people -- hurt by.
You're kinda having fun -- you admit that to yourself just for that moment -- the second thing is you find.
People that you know that you can trust men who can.
Respect and accept the complicated.
Flurry of emotions that you have both the sadness and the distraught -- that's as well I was.
The excitement if that's what it is you find someone that you can share that -- that that's a therapist you do with a therapist if it's your spouse your partner your friend.
You do with a -- -- someone who can except you fully for who you are.
And the third thing is equally important we recognize your audience.
Not everybody wants to hear everything and you don't sit there talking to someone whose home is flooded.
And -- -- out of electricity for four days how excited you are that your kids don't have school.
But that's the wrong conversation to have you empathize and you connect with the people who can connect.
Specifically on their experience but they're experiencing.
You you you connect for them based on that.
Not based on just how you're feeling the you have an outlet for that other stuff so you don't feel ashamed of it -- just Hughes.
To distinguish between what you feel and what you expressed.
There -- -- ending common sense absolutely how to that's the first thing you do if you think about who would like talking to yes and what's appropriate to share with them.
Peter -- you don't want -- stuff the other stuff that.
Thank you so much.
Articles on your web saint Peter Bregman dot com.
And now we think you for coming on and we're glad you're safe and your kids are enjoying it and there there respite from school -- -- -- -- -- on Monday so.
Good luck having sugar induced Halloween candy -- I was -- -- nonsense and -- -- -- --
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