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Peter Bregman has tips for how to overcome your dislike of coworkers and make it work at the office
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-- everybody welcome to Thursday one more alarm online Cincinnati thanks for joining us on the business half hour right -- foxnews.com.
Live.
We have a jam packed so we'll keep -- up with Peter -- -- fox.
Business dot com contributor as well as CEO advisor joining us today in studio thanks for coming.
Thanks -- -- so I -- is simple question analysts -- Pacific gas municipality or with someone I don't mind.
You know don't feel like a second -- and in because everybody has the same question because we in fact.
I think one of the problems is that the people we don't like kids are expanding you know -- -- as you can see -- in the country in general right into that used to be I disagreed with you politically.
Now it's I think you're jerk yet I got a few -- -- like you period and I don't like anything you've been.
And so it's a problem the relevant.
An hour becoming well well I think all -- through the fact that we're working with a much more diverse group of people that we -- that we we used to be much smaller -- and -- cents -- -- not a news and it's now like minded people it's like model like minded people and that will really isn't really sensitive -- to thank yeah I think I might think that.
We're increasingly emotionally hooked.
Right recently -- mostly -- -- -- but it's if I disagree with you about something that's connected to see who we can disagree about a million -- -- -- -- as I could not like it.
Can highlight exactly like yeah but what I'm passionate about the fact that -- like -- -- and I don't.
That would just training people are -- exactly -- not not -- not.
You out -- we don't get a mostly caught up from public debt.
And and so and so the challenge that we're facing as they think we're increasingly emotionally.
Distance from other people that were -- emotionally caught up.
With our disagreements patently not get so emotionally caught up with other people particularly in the -- -- -- so I think the first thing we have to do is understand.
-- get to know them better.
That's the first the first up.
I get another but if there's someone you don't like.
Then understand who they are and and try to pinpoint closer what it is specifically about -- that you.
I -- -- have a point yeah.
We have a friend my group of friends has a friend then and we like her but we don't like owned restaurants with her she's very rude to the wait staff it's embarrassing -- -- apologizing.
And so it was really setting us and finally -- of my -- said and it's because of -- nationality she was raised in certain type of environment we have to get everything.
It's been more aggressive -- don't get left behind right right and it's plain -- I think just -- -- So one thing you can do just understanding them better can be given that right to yeah to a better understanding and then you can sort of offer more space for them.
Right.
But -- the key is when you figure out and this is the most interesting part and we have a psychological barrier to doing this we don't want to do this.
Which is that when you figure out what it is that you don't like about -- in the challenging piece try to find that in yourself.
Well.
Okay so soon median.
I'm some weird psychological level you're saying the thing I don't like the values also what I don't like about myself that -- don't want to admit.
Precisely.
Precisely and the fact that you don't want to admit it is gonna make you -- -- reject what I'm saying right now hi get like you wanna say that's not true you don't in fact.
That the article originally wrote an article in Harvard Business Review about this and I got a lot of comments and the comments -- all of version of this.
Which is where many of them were version of this which is it it's it's an interesting idea but you don't know the jerk I work with -- right.
And it's because we're really -- caught up.
And and one of my suggestions to people when when we have the psychological block as we all do we don't wanna look at ourselves in that way.
Is to stop to take being right about this and put -- deciding right and just say what can I learned here.
Think that the goal -- to be right the goal isn't to be justified in thinking that third circuit having more people agree with me.
The goal is to say how could -- become a better more interesting.
Kinder more effective more capable more powerful person.
And that's how I look at life right which is how to -- moved more in that direction.
And in this case the way to -- more -- direction -- to -- -- thing I don't like can someone else and funded and myself and when -- become acquainted with that -- -- -- accept that in myself.
-- begin to tell -- what is a fast -- -- you try that quality dislike about.
So on so you really don't see in yourself right so do you may not pregnant so part of it might be.
Right denial which is very very strong.
But let's say it's not denial let's say there's just a piece of this person that you -- -- The next place to go is to recognize that we're threatened -- them and that part of our threat.
Is recognizing.
That it's possible.
That we might one day be like them.
Right so again.
I'm I want I want us to turn it on to ourselves because I don't think it helps to turn it on to the other for I can't really think it happens that we keep turning on the -- is that we create -- -- -- wall and so.
The threat is it how we're like that I really wouldn't like.
Right I don't like the way that person's choosing the waiter I.
I wouldn't want to treat a -- like this.
I think somehow reflecting on me that they're treating the -- like this I think there's a risk there.
Not a threat that I don't really like.
So he could somehow find a way to understand the vulnerability.
That you may be feeling it related to that behavior.
It helps you to sort of nothing quite as -- to that of the person.
And that of course is the first stuff.
To creating more -- relationship with the.
-- About it I guess but what happens when -- matter how hard you try.
To understand he just don't like that person -- -- -- little he values rise comfortable and you know a lot of it then you move over the have to ask yourself the question at the end of the day or weaker -- your company people are ready off I don't think there's no longer here -- -- people.
Have done.
And the -- -- I've never been written off.
And then you have my.
-- I try not to be.
-- article about all this up on your -- saint Peter Bregman dot com.
Thank you so much for joining us.
Foxbusiness.com.
Contributor interesting article interesting take.
And I can you read this chatting and what to do when you have to work with someone you know might -- -- -- I did when in school.
And I did not like the professor I grew up.
I thought you gonna say he dropped out I like that -- imperial -- I -- -- writing it.
