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Good morning everybody and welcome to our live chat this is -- Tuesday career accelerator thank you for joining us.
On FBM live on after foxnews.com.
Live on Lawrence amenities and Patriot Act -- -- -- weigh in now on the chat.
We're certainly listening and answering our question of the day is do you think there is such thing as a work.
Life balanced as the nine to five still exist yes.
You can have -- all you want to know achieving balance is not possible on today's new 24 hour work day.
Or maybe some of you already weighing in and we hear from Charles race.
You say I have balance between work and play if something needs to be done at work and it's important I either do what I can't finish from working on -- -- saved it for the next day.
If you go to sleep that night with that -- he had something on my head okay enjoying -- you write good morning yes 95 is certainly something -- the past it takes more than one person working.
Or you holding two jobs to make it.
Anymore now well when he -- Newsday is what we're gonna discuss.
In his career accelerator additionally got a great panel right now next to me is Leah Goldman.
Features director Anne Marie Claire.
Doctor -- the author of do you plan and Jennifer Owens working mother media you where the F territorial -- there thanks for joining us guys.
So I guess I'll kick things off with you -- How do we achieve work life balance.
Well like yeah I don't know there's no one -- it's a sin but I think.
What we hear every -- which you know we we target working women professional women women on the you know -- you might not know about it he'll definitely hear about tomorrow.
You know work -- is an all consuming kind of thing.
But it's not that you know in some ways it can be overwhelming if you don't put boundaries on it but.
In all of other ways it's exactly how we wanted to be you know we'd like that -- his schedule is it juices us up that gets us.
You don't think that it's in knowing and working not not working 95.
I mean maritime I have to say enough is enough I mean I'd be a big -- fighting and there were times when it was mind blowing and soul -- to get a weekend on Saturday night -- -- you know but but at the same time -- is the there's the queasy adrenaline rush of being on a plane to Bangkok.
You know when when -- -- -- other -- -- the people he went to school -- aren't having as exciting career so there's ups there's downs that I was that's cool doctor would you say it's okay put down the Blackberry.
Yes OK because you are.
Replace -- -- right well some I also didn't work.
And the -- and it's really about healthy integration I think the old notions of balance -- kind of spoke to the idea of teetering to things like family and life and the reality is we just can't live that way anymore and and I think that.
Proliferation of mobile technology has fundamentally changed how we view work and how we actually live and operate.
But the problem is I don't think that -- as a society or as individuals that we had the intellectual maturity.
Or cultural maturity to kind of keep up with this waiver of the tsunami mean.
Of mobile technology so I think we're still struggling to figured out what happens is we've become so attached to the right at -- that we -- we got -- Most aren't at all -- I don't think it this -- -- -- prop.
It's non functioning.
Put it but the reality is is that we're we're so tethered to -- -- this Pablo will be in response.
Because of the fact that I can be gotten -- definitely therefore I should be available.
And it should be picking it up how many times you've gone and done something or put it down.
Where you get these messages texts and emails were already talking haven't responded you have a phone -- know -- on why you not know what I'm on a five mile run and it.
Is that OK but that's really -- -- think we're facing right now.
But do you think that people should really.
Acknowledge the fact that there are other people who can pick up the slack when you don't answer something that may -- It's not just -- he'll let me be a group of people are on their why do you have to be the first one to answer that email.
For from the perspective -- workplace psychologist that's what I do and in my life and one of the challenges that I see all the time.
Is people have this fantasy of indispensable -- you know awards this notion that.
No one can pick up the slack for me I'm the only one they can do the job I'm the one to take the call yet I should be wired in and guess what.
You're not really get -- we do that's the case.
What -- your company's really in trouble.
Yeah that indispensable and so you need to find a way to get over it right.
Ended but it is -- -- -- -- we've created for ourselves and we need to step back and let go.
And Jennifer are we you'll have to get over the fact that yes and it might feel like a 24 hour workday but that's not healthy look employers give the -- and -- then the mist or the dad sitting at home if we're.
Meanwhile this so definitely there's a rising co parenting with -- that as that as we look at younger generations it's.
Majority of two parent families are dual income -- you know there's only way to run a families that everyone -- again.
And so you know you have to structure your family you have to do that the way that you need to do to get -- because -- -- with you it's integration of satisfaction.
Because if I wanna go to Bangkok you know that's working for my family my career that it I'm satisfied -- that that's fine right you know.
But then you need the flexibility.
It just have to be flexibility flexibility has impact on absenteeism health.
Stress productivity so employers need to be flexible I think the need to offer flexibility for the date for the week for the year.
You're got clear but when did you say -- the Blackberry the -- on the tablet that makes it flexible because you can easily work from home.
It's double exports and -- and I mean yeah that's the thing that's something not grown into his flexibility isn't just about what you give me it's what I think bash and Ed and I think that's something that I've grown into especially with kids down.
That I do appreciate what I'm getting but I also know that I have to give especially if you're doing calls.
With India or China and you need to be -- -- I -- that call it you know.
-- some terrible time of the day then that's the price I'm paying you have a study on this stuff and when he don't look you -- I noticed that he had to get that but you know it's really interesting.
Recently the Boston Consulting Group did kind of a little in house study with Harvard researcher and what they found was.
They forced them to shut down their phone.
Email and was -- one -- -- -- in which sounds crazy market like just one day -- -- -- -- -- but when -- week.
We'll talk about that I -- it.
But so what they found was.
That that the results for this is that it actually increased their collaboration because they had to work with someone to cover for them.
Makes you collaborate you realize that maybe you're not indispensable if you think you more.
And also an increase productivity because you know what it's focused time and you can't be going nonstop if you're running all the time he will Wear yourself out.
So you need to have those breaks and also the reason part of those brakes are.
Is intellectual expansion or growth looking at other things like when you're with your kids at a soccer game are you doing those things that are.
Outside of work you actually did grow and you learn that there are other aspects of right.
-- shunted off to camp.
Leo what tips would you recommend two achieving work play life balance can you know obviously she did maybe you want to admit to it but I think about.
We talk about this all the time in my office were -- lot of young women some of -- -- some of us not.
And one of the things that comes up often is all I got the email 11 o'clock on the box when in fact if you took a look at that email.
It might have just been chatter might have just been a quick thought it it wasn't -- mission critical tightening around that needed to be answered right away.
But because we spend so much time network -- lines are so blurry and the girl sitting next -- is a friend as well the colleagues you feel compelled to response -- the social lines as well the professional lines.
Get really -- and so you really need to ask yourself.
You know it is that this is everything going to be -- the office could still be standing right I just put this off yeah sometimes that busted writing maybe not 11 o'clock because that's -- here he had time to sit down and do -- he's not expecting -- fun but she's putting her name out there because she's checking out -- to do exactly and unfortunately the assumption -- -- my boss is emailing me at midnight I have to respond when he took a look at it.
Maybe she thinks you wanna be in that dancing on along with the kids you're the one with the right you should be out having good time right so you know really sit down and and dissect everything.
Part of that study is the corporate culture supported the experiment yes and it was constant communication built into -- eating because he could easily.
If you don't know what that 11 o'clock email means you know I I that the mice that you know that's that is the time that I have to do -- -- I.
Let me be clear I am not expecting a response if you're not clear though.
Especially people who are like two levels down -- interpret that as I need to be waiting for her you know at 11 o'clock.
I have to combat those assumptions I guess that is assumptions that people make.
By having conversations and you know like -- -- solid timeline our work -- found -- you've got him more personally have to set boundaries and right it is a choice and the one thing I preach to the day I die as we all have more choices that we believe we do mentally.
And it's a matter of stepping back and realizing that you have right choice.
The second thing is like -- -- you have to have that conversation -- It's OK you let them know guess what when I email eleven do not respond and I read it it's when I have that extra down time right so we set parameters and -- expectations or when gets it.
Yeah I just say they hear -- at at fox honestly I do think and in news cycle does not.
Re welcome I'm dying to find a week you know they're they're fine with OK we know that she wakes up at this time -- I don't expect him to do these things.
So perhaps -- Fox's pretty -- like just -- to go to the chat for a second think you guys purview weighing in we have David Larson.
You said you think it is possible to have that balance if you truly want it.
But you have to want it more than money or material things and that's -- where the cool job in the success economy you do.
The mostly for their Blackberry economies hit it an -- 1631.
You write to David saying my husband and I both work at ten dollars an hour we will not have a big house big TVs and brand new cars.
-- -- -- and it works sinks -- I'll keep playing and let us know -- -- -- that work life balance.
Does in fact exists.
It's our question of the day.
It it extends our exit to give more tips Jennifer for -- had a achieving.
I think transparency I think that's a real key is to be able to have that conversation.
It with your boss and two.
Also view it from your boss' perspective -- what did they actually need coverage what is making them nervous about maybe you working from home a certain data seem to commute time or.
You know telecommuting when you need it.
Read that you're -- you're all talking about what's you know we can come back in thirty days and talk about how that went in just -- that conversation that we're all open about it that really helps.
Yet and what I really like so far in this discussions that we haven't.
Spoken about work life balance being -- trouble for women and for mother's right because it really is a gender new building especially.
This -- age accusing Dominique give it to you -- because of wearing well actually I'm -- and -- -- do you think Saddam.
Meaning working mothers feel it the most that you know I have to be a 100% my yeah I have to be 100%.
-- -- like what tips would you give to women there.
Well I think what.
Working mothers of the vanguard for everything else that happens in the -- place behind them to people with elder care issues.
He -- chronic illness people who want to learn classical guitar what -- it is.
Working mothers are the ones that are feeling the daily stress and so that it wasn't usually agitating for this but you're right it has to be for everyone.
So I would really encourage.
And be using it yet I would be like a bit.
Guys sitting in the cube next you know you really -- -- -- -- you really sit.
-- it don't put the women in a box that this is a woman benefit it's not it's everyone.
You're seeing more and more companies offer what you know has been called flex time on an off ramp that these are not -- they might have been designed specifically with -- For women but now they're being taken advantage of by everyone -- union Europe Russia -- -- whether you were a man or woman these things are important to adding that that.
Life after work is important to -- But I will also say want to get a having a a eight you know a conversation with your spouse your partner what have you it.
About what the responsibilities are for example of my baby -- calls and says when I'm a working mom my husband's a working dad.
But the assumption is that the working -- is gonna do that last minute re arranging to make it work.
That's all well and good and it's a lot of that is -- that those are just assumptions that spouses make.
But if you have that you know I don't not free to get my husband a list of things to do and I don't walk away feeling guilty about it I need you to do this and I can do that in order for both of us to live the -- wanna leave them leave when we get home.
Right so and traditionally we would think that women would do the organization.
We saw did have to split it takes Saturday at play on -- doctor -- can happen you know respect and if that hundreds of values issue really is and I think we have to step back and realize.
As a society.
Well what kind of values we really spells to we want to make sure that our kids are getting time with their parents and they're being raised.
In families and and I think when we step back we have to look at do the policies.
Of companies across this country whether it's small business midsize and large.
Really coincide with our values as a as a society this nation and I think we need to step back and think about that do we really right if we want to value.
Raising her children in raising them at home and raising them a certain types of values we need to make sure that we allow that to happen and then we don't.
Push against that with corporate policies I think that's what we get a sense of.
And I'll tell you that we -- -- working mother 100 best of things we're judging companies on all of these fans and his company.
What are those organic into the Villa on top and what we only did we only caught the top -- that we have companies like IBM -- and Johnson.
Who'd been on the list for 27 -- straight and so.
Those are companies in play 2.5 million people and I would say in this country right now those of the leaders in work life.
It's not done by the government it's as much for educating on our side it's actually right now the leadership is by these 100 companies.
-- true story I have.
Cousins there in a family business I -- -- children.
And the girl is always getting annual -- because her brother is always leaving work early to go coach his kids games.
And it's just it's right you know history she's hurting more than he -- she's getting so ignited.
The wheels on the topic we -- women who aren't married believed to go around the country.
So it's not necessarily about having the kids up on the radio Monday another priority that someone -- priority so when you have to keep things in check and say OK maybe I -- dress.
Work outside buy him a little bit more.
I think if you know that I can speak anecdotally and personally win at home starts becoming a tense situation.
That's not balanced by any measure that is not balancing you have to come home and let those conversations with the honor roll because you want to an hour after you said he was and then.
It's time to consider the environment that the circumstances not might not be right for you -- your family.
If you're feeling worn out if you're feeling over stressed if you see a degradation in your relationships whether spouse children -- friends.
He's certain to see that eroding or you're ignoring it then you got to realize you know what I'm not integrating it.
Good -- my life in healthy way.
Because I think it goes back to hadn't been degraded and -- -- right make sure you.
You kind of need all of his -- because you're not meeting all his needs he will not be productive worker and you -- stay there a long hours.
You may be very visible there but I don't know that you'll actually be producing at a high level because your mind burned out.
Gotcha you know.
Your brain needs that time -- -- Jennifer what would you recommend that our viewers say if their boss perhaps says I need some more face time from.
I think you need to have really.
Tough talk with them I like why.
What's -- objective here what are we trying to achieve with that -- -- face time really is necessary there may be reason for can you work a crowded it.
You know life is a spirit of compromise as you'll have to look at all the different things that are going on children's ages their needs at different ages are.
They change into your life will change your work will change so that's a conversation you need to happen to tell -- They got and I understand what's the ultimate goal and we'll figure out how I can achieve your goal in ways that also work.
Dana that's what I think I think -- I have to fight it all case especially with work is they come -- you would say we need to do acts.
And then you.
What is the actual objective here and of their -- you know the creative way to go about this so I would want to beat -- that ask what the goal list and -- If that yeah.
Stay -- -- -- at play here and your confidence yes good point on the staples recently did a survey saying that 40% of small business owners.
Say that there working during family time so there at a dinner table on their on their Blackberry and -- trying to make the most of their time but is that healthy.
You know I think it depends was.
What the expectations are on both -- look we the most glaring recent example is personality can we talk about that's not even -- our company unlike.
OK let's see -- that people don't know we're talking about where the newly appointed CEO of Yahoo! says that she will -- six months pregnant and that she we'll take a few weeks off and be working during that period for her maternity leave and then right back to work and so you know that's -- all sorts of questions about whether or not that's balance and I would.
And that's certainly not gonna land on our Samantha says I'm not a shareholder Yahoo! so I'm not -- in that decision in that way.
But I do think if it works for her clearly she's not someone who needs the paycheck she's doing it because it's been no doubt a lifelong dream realized.
Good for her look at -- it's -- -- I think they're all going to be following it very closely.
Yes but what struck me about her comment was the fact that people think oh okay at this.
Woman CEO is working all the time we should shouldn't have sent such and that precedent but in turn depends it's okay and your job early on your hands on job.
She's getting 69.
Exactly yeah that's you know I mean she can obviously want them and we don't -- timing is that one woman with a lot of precedent so so Jennifer would you go so far as to say okay -- out there -- for a second.
This is big and she's got to do it take yeah let's see how she doesn't and more power to -- you -- Do you know how many women are CEO's of major company exactly let's get to that point first then we'll worry about the pregnant -- right.
Right OK got to go to the chats and analysts early on people have to pay their -- prove themselves however respectable work -- -- employees and management.
Recognize that a balanced team member is more productive in the long run through.
Aren't working for peanuts group -- -- -- panel they want -- -- are you talking about someone that is self employed or works for someone else.
If yourself someplace you were 20% and if you like -- and that's true this.
On this planet and that choice if you wanna be self employed a lot of times that's a choice to be so when -- back into the choice thing because.
I I just get so sick and tired of the victim mentality and how many people come -- -- -- to listen.
Then -- out and seek out that different career that different job that meet the choice so.
Most people or -- self employed it is by choice now.
And we we got a small business owners and -- -- to get a medal for that is a different challenge than in the corporate world right 'cause.
Again it it is typically a choice.
Even if you and your family business use it there's still -- choice element there yet.
So what you have to do is have to make a determination to get -- with -- read that into your life because for small business owners they're business usually is.
Highly integrated their life especially when it started out and out -- starting -- -- every day going through downturns.
But you have to make this clear decisions about what what might downtime looks like for someone else that we can't set benchmarks just like Emerson -- example.
She may not be the right benchmark for all working on right out there and I think that's fair to yeah -- Just like certain designers yet to decide what works for you because we're all different so.
Yet to have a conversation with your family.
Your children and your spouse whoever is involved and understand what.
Type of healthy integration works for us so that I meeting everyone's needs because it's not gonna look the same for everybody.
OK can I point that seems to be the primary critique I would say of this and Marie slaughter -- but I guess everybody Atlantic cover story about can women have at all.
She worked firm you know the current administration and she walked away feeling like she couldn't -- -- that was the reason for the peace yes but the you know certainly -- our offices among working women who we hear from.
The critique of that -- as well she made those choices and a lot of -- choices were typical ones or family lived in another city.
You know with a grueling schedule with a government job at a very high level I mean these are things that she.
Took on and you know that's the consequence of those decisions so you know it really it depends on the game it depends on the -- it depends on the -- -- -- a great.
Not every job has worked out for me I got -- And I I'm with -- -- go into intense back and if you could sum up.
This conversation -- the big tip you want to get to the -- were out there how to achieve work life balance Jennifer will debate.
Find -- job flexibility.
If it's not that find another.
-- only works for you.
A pet planet W love than it's worth it yeah.
So we should all be reconsidering.
I have no.
You can't trillions of working mother media doctor woody author of the -- planet -- -- with Marie Claire thank you for joining us these are our results of the question today do you hitting work life balance exists.
-- city has again hey -- 18% said no.
And 8% said maybe thanks for joining us this Tuesday for the crew accelerator online Cincinnati send me -- -- or -- FaceBook message.
And let me know he thought of the -- thank you so much to our panelists this thanking her for coming on and joining us right we'll see that here tomorrow small business day that.
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